Divorce Different

A client just came into my office a domestic violence matter involving her boyfriend.  She explained how she got divorced last year so I assumed she didn’t have an attorney since she was in my office.  However, she did have an attorney that handles a fair number of divorce cases in Monmouth County.  So, I had to ask, why can’t he help you?  The answer:  “because he ripped me off and he’s a scumbag”.  Not the first time I’ve heard that about him.  She explained that she had a very simple case with everything worked out.  However, this attorney somehow charged her $8000 for a 3 month divorce case!  My guess is that I could have handled the case for under $2000.  Regardless, she clearly knows that she was ripped off and unfortunately, her story is not rare. 

What this attorney does not realize is that while he might have made some nice money, he will never make a dime off of this client.  Not only that, but she will clearly bad mouth him to everyone she knows.  I try to create clients for life even it costs me money.  I believe that my job is to get the best result for my client even if it does not put money in my pocket.

For example, I have been representing a client with a number of related issues.  I was going to represent her in the divorce but we would have had to wait months if not over a year for her to have even the proper retainer put together because her husband was going to cause World War 3.  No matter who handled the case, it was going to be expensive.  This just couldn’t wait.  Thus, I found an attorney that is affiliated with an organization that can help her.  As a result, the divorce case will cost her next to nothing and she will be able to get divorced much quicker.  I lost out on a lot of money but my client is in a better position.  In my opinion, that is my real job: to help my clients.  Quite often, it puts money in my pocket.  However, sometimes it doesn’t.  Either way, I love my career and I feel great knowing that I made a difference in someone’s life.

Am I the only attorney that feels like this?   Obviously no, but when looking for an attorney, I suggest you try to determine what your attorney is concerned with, you or his/her wallet?

Before I was an attorney, I was a mediator for 2 years.  It was a great experience and I am a better attorney as a result of the experience.  However, I am rather upset by all of the “divorce mediation” springing up everywhere as some type of alternative to divorce.  In my opinion, it is not a good alternative to the divorce process and may actually make your case more expensive and time consuming.

Is it really an alternative to divorce?

There is a big public misconception that divorce has to be expensive, drawn out and in essence, a generally horrible experience.  Divorce Mediation is marketed as a way to bypass all of that but of course, relies on people thinking that this misconception is true.  There is  no one way to get divorced.  I can get people divorced in two to three months for $2000 or less in some cases.  Some people spend six figures and it takes years.  The timing and the cost of a divorce depends upon you and your spouse.  Thus, it does not have to be expensive. 

Besides the cost aspect, divorce mediation also assumes that there are no other alternatives to a divorce trial.  However, a divorce trial is very rare.  Almost every case settles.  One of the reasons most cases settle (besides lack of time for court to try the cases) is that there are a number of mediations and other ADR processes built in to the divorce process.  In addition, your attorney is always free to set up mediation sessions with the other side with or without the assistance of an actual mediator.  When it is without a mediator, we refer to this as a four-way conference.  During the four-way, both sides along with their respective attorneys discuss all of the issues in an attempt to settle all or just part of the issues in the case.

Regardless of how and when the case settles, your attorney will be in a position to quickly put through the settlement.  When you go through mediation and you have settled the cases, you still have to start the divorce case from the beginning.  This could delay the case.

Who will fight for you?

A mediator cannot represent you or your spouse.  Thus, you may lose out on key legal advice that could cost you for many years.  For example, what if there is two ways to do something?  One way will cost you more money, the other will not.  What if the mediator thinks it is better for your spouse to go the way that costs you more money even if does not mean less money for them?  What if you want to draw up an iron clad agreement that will be in your favor?  Who is looking out for you?  Don’t think that your spouse’s attorney will pick up on all of these little issues.  I’ve seen some very experienced attorneys leave money on the table by not asking for certain things.  With a mediator, he/she may not raise these issues if they are in your favor or they may raise them for the benefit of your spouse. 

Can an attorney speed up your divorce?

While there is no one way to mediate a case, I’ve seen some mediations that took about 10 to 12 different mediation sessions.  However, when I have represented clients and I have been in some type of mediation, it rarely takes more than one session which generally lasts one to three hours.  Why?  Attorneys know how to cut through the BS.  During the initial consultation with my clients, I am already getting an idea for how the client wants to settle the case and how I think the case should settle.  I explain my thinking to my clients from the start so they are prepared to move forward.  As a result, the sessions go much quicker.  With a mediation, I am sure the mediator has to discuss every possible option on each issue which can take some time.

The best of both worlds

The purpose of this blog is to demonstrate that there are attorneys out there that combine the best of both worlds.  You can get an attorney that will fight for you without breaking the bank.  In addition, for the same price as a mediation, hiring the right attorney can get you divorced faster and with a better settlement agreement that is drawn up correctly.  If the mediation fails, the right attorney can transition right into litigation mode to fight for you.  No mediator can do that.  So, think twice before you opt for an alleged “divorce alternative” as it may not really be much of an alternative at all.

I know a divorce attorney that many people refer to as a “bulldog”.  The alleged reputation is that this is attorney is tough and will fight for his/her clients.  Based upon my experience with this attorney, this dog is all bark and no bite.  I’ve gone up against him/her and won and it was hardly a challenge.  He/She caved quite quickly.  So why the reputation?  My guess is that it is all about attitude because the attorney talks a good game and is loud and quite obnoxious.  There are other attorneys that have similar traits and I call them agitators.  Regardless of whether or not they have any skill, they don’t seem to use it all the time.  Instead, its all about being loud and causing problems. Some people want their attorney to be a big pain in the ass so they fill a market for a hard-charging attorney.

However, what people don’t realize is that this type of attorney can cause more problems than they solve which can cost you a ton of money.  In my opinion, a true litigator knows that for all of his or her trial skill, quite often, what gets the job done is knowing what to say and how to say it.  Sometimes this is the screaming and yelling that is seen in the movies and on TV but most of the time, it is skilled diplomacy.  As the old saying goes, “you catch more flies with honey”.  So, your attorney can be aggressive and fight for you without upsetting the world in the process.   This is what I do because, in my opinion, I can get better results for less cost to my clients.